Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Keys to Fairness in Marriage #2

2.  Don't keep track of how much you give and how much you receive.

This goes along with what I was saying yesterday, you do not give only to get something back.  You also don't go to your spouse saying, I have cooked for you today, I have massaged your feet for you today, I have given you 5 hugs today and you haven't done one thing back in return.  If we are giving to our spouse and keeping track it counts for nothing.  Your relationship needs to develop into one where you both love to give to each other, where you both love to help each other and essentially where you give to each other because you don't think of yourself first.  Your relationship turns into one where you put the other's happiness first.  This can be done, but if you are the only one giving, it is tiresome.  If you feel that your spouse is not giving to you, talk to them, don't say I have done this, this and this for you, express to them how you feel and try and resolve ways in which both of your cups are being filled up each day by each other.

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