Monday, May 23, 2011

Children and Marriage

Let's face it, once you have children they become a huge part of your marriage.  They take up more time each day than you give your spouse each day.  For many the central focus of a marriage becomes your children, which is understandable, they require help, time, discipline, guidance, nourishment, encouragment, etc.  So as a tendency couples tend to forget they are husband and wife and focus more on the fact they are mom and dad.  Focusing on being mom and dad is great, but you have to remember at the same time you are husband and wife.  To try and help remember this, don't forget your weekly date.  My kids complain at times about us going out once a week, but we remind them that we want a great relationship and one day they will be out of the home and our relationship needs to be strong.  Statistics show many couples divorce by the first five years or after twenty five years.  Why after twenty five years?  Because the kids have left the home and they allowed the children to be the main focus and they didn't take the time to maintain their marriage.  Another way to not allow yourself to forget you are husband and wife is to take time for each other, one on one, everyday.  If it means you have to go out for a walk, or shut yourself in your bedroom together for 20 minutes, do it.  You need time to talk and see how things are going and to evalutate how close you feel to each other.  If you are feeling distant, resolve ways to feel closer and to help you remember you are husband and wife.  Last a very great way is intimacy. Being intimate with each other reminds you why you are married. There is a reason God said a husband and wife should leave their parents and cleave to each other, it is a true union of one.  If you are not being intimate, talk to each other, find out why and resolve a way to be together.  When you are intimate, you become one, you feel how the other feels about you and it bringsyou closer.  Remember children are wonderful and great and divine, but so is your marriage, so take the time to always make sure it is wonderful, great and divine.

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