If You Can't Say Anything Nice, Don't Say Anything At All

I think some of the greatest advice came from the cartoon Bambi "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."  Such amazing words from Bambi's little friend Thumper, but they ring so true today.  This philosophy applies in any situation, but especially in your home.  Your spouse is someone that you are suppose to be picking up, not putting down.  Whatever you say to them, they will take to heart because it is being given by the person who is suppose to love them the most.  Do not say things you will regret, it takes more effort to undo them than to say them.  If you are having frustrations, don't be accusatory and blaming, think of "I" statements to make to them so they don't feel like they are being accused, such as, I feel that, I get worried about, I am not understanding this, I am frustrated that, etc.  You get the picture?  Make sure when you are talking to them that you are dealing with how something makes you feel and not attacking them.  Last, if you do start getting upset, take a time out.  Tell them this is making you upset and you don't want to say unkind things and find a way to take a personal timeout.  Do whatever it takes to sort out your feelings and what you are thinking so you pick them up and not pull them down.