The Grapefruit Syndrome

Have you heard of the Grapefruit Syndrome?  If you are a member of the LDS church go to the website and look it up in the April 1993 Ensign for the whole story.  The gist of it is a woman was told if her and her husband list the little annoying habits they find in each other it won't grow into a big annoying habit further down the line.  So the woman goes ahead, one of her complaints was he ate a grapefruit like an orange.  He would peel it and eat it and it drove her crazy.  Next it was the husbands turn and what does he say, that he finds no annoying habits with his wife, that he loves everything about her. 
This is the truth of a marriage.  If we look for annoying habits or negative things, we will find them.  But if we look at our spouse and see their little habits as being them and therefore good, it will not bother us.  If we look for the good we will see the good. 
Do not let your marriage become a Grapefruit Syndrome where all you see are annoying things your spouse does.  See them for being themselves, who cares if they leave the cap of fthe toothpaste, or eat their grapefruit different, it has no consequence on the eternal spectrum of things.
Love them for who they are and embrace them for being your spouse.  See the good, tell the good and you will know the good.

Pick them up, Don't put them down

The rule is simple today:  Pick them up, Don't put them down.  We will elaborate more tomorrow, I just want you to think about what you do and say. (PS I don't post on Sundays)

Why to date once a week

How was your date last night?  Did you enjoy yourself?  Did you get a chance to re-new your relationship with your spouse and to remember that you are husband and wife, not just mom and dad?  Dating is an essential part of your life.  You used to do it all of the time before you were married, so why would you want to forgo a part of your life that used to be normal?  Through dating our spouse we remember why we are married.  It gives us time to sit and talk to each other without all the distractions around.  If you ever feel like you are lacking for conversation, talk about your future, where do you see yourselves in 10, 20, 30 years?  What are your future goals for yourself and your family?  You can even evaluate your relationship.  If you feel the future is uncertain for your marriage, why?  How can you turn the tide and fall back in love with the person you married?  How can the two of you totally commit back fully to your marriage so the two of you look forward to a future together?  A regular date once a week is your renewal.  Look at it that way.  Fill your cup back up and focus again on each other.  Your marriage is worth it, so start working on it now.

Date Night

It's Friday, do you know what that means?  Date Night.  Grab your spouse and take them on a fun date tonight (or tomorrow if unavailable tonight.)  Think out of the movie/dinner box.  Now is the time to start renewing your relationship and in order to do that you need to get out of any monotony you may have gotten yourself in.  You may say we don't have a babysitter, then find another couple with kids and take turns babysitting. Make dating your spouse once a week a priority.  Now for thinking out of the box, here are a few suggestions: get your favorite takeout and grab a blanket and go to a park or lookout to eat it, if it is too cold, eat in the car and enjoy the beautiful scenery - ice skate (holding hands is great) - grab some other couples and have a potluck dinner at your home and play your favorite games  such as scum, telestrations, bunko, etc. - go ice blocking and bring the hot chocolate - do a progressive dinner with your friends - go to a hot spring, bring goodies and just relax - For those in St. George, grab your favorite food, grab a blanket and go eat on top of the Dixie, it is beautiful - visit historical sites in your area, grab goodies and have a trivia contest afterwards, do silly details like what color was the chamber pot the upstairs bedroom, etc.- go sledding before the snow is gone.  There are many things to do, you just need to be creative.  Go, enjoy your date night, laugh with them, love them, and forgive them quickly for we all have our faults, it is up to our loved ones not to see them as a fault but as a personality enhancement.

Group Dates

Remember when you were dating in high school and you use to always do big group dates with all of your friends.  You would be so creative and have such a great time.  Right now, hopefully your spouse is your best friend, but having another support system of great friends is helpful.  About 13 years ago we knew a couple, who knew another couple, who knew another couple, we were all bored of the same dinner/movie date so we decided to do a creative group date.  We only knew one of three couples and we didn't know what would occur from it; we were a bit nervous.  After the first date of backwards bowling and potluck dinner, we hit it off amazingly.  All of these years later our children refer to us as the 4 K's because all of the women's names started with a K.  This was a great way to get out and get to know new people.  Just remember in choosing your friends to choose someone who has your same values, someone who will pick you up when you are down, someone who believes marriage is worth all the work and effort and someone who believes that the grass IS NOT greener on the other side.  Be as creative as you were in high school with dating your spouse.  You don't need a group or creative date everytime, but they help to get you out of a monotonous routine.

Favorite Creative Dates

I have had many creative dates with my husband, a few of them are:  backwards bowling (just mix up all the rules however you want), sparking (get some wintergreen life savers and sit in the car in the dark and see if you can get them to spark), hiking almost anywhere and bringing a picnic lunch, skeet shooting contest, photo scavenger hunt, an amazing race, building a campfire and roasting marshmallows, playing golf frisbee at the Dixie and roasting hot dogs in the gazebo afterwards, play racquetball and go jacuzzing afterwards, hike the narrows (if he can get through), go to Sand Hollow in the summer and plan a BBQ, go fishing (there are a lot of fishing ponds around St. George), have a night where you just scrounge up the change around the house and you can only use that money to go out with (it is fun to see how much you can do with so little), go to a bouncy house place and have races with other couples.  If you can't get out, bring the date home - once the kids are in bed get your favorite take out food and bring home a movie.  There are so many things to do, just don't make it the same boring things.  I would love to hear anymore ideas.

Your Favorite Date

My favorite date was Jason's and mine's first date.  We went to the Bloomington Caves and went spilunking (is that spelled right?) then afterwards had some lunch.  On the drive home the truck we were in hit a rock and it put a hole in the gas tank and all the gas had leaked out within a minute.  We did try to catch some gas by throwing the water out of the drink cooler and catching it (Jason has claimed that was not one of my brightest ideas because now we had nothing to drink, were about 20 miles from home on a dirt road, and no way to patch the gas tank so the gas was useless).  So we began a long walk back to anyone's home we could find along the way.  I had brought along my Dad's .22 and we were able to do some target practice.  We probably walked for 4 hours or so, but I can honestly say that was one of my favorite walks.  We talked and talked and talked and laughed and laughed.  Then and there I realized how great it was to be around him.  Either one of us could have been real complainers with me dumping out the water and the fact that we now had a real long walk ahead of us, but instead we just loved each others company so much it made the other things insignificant. ***Now if you would like, I would love to hear a favorite date of yours***