I know a couple who have had some hard times in their marriage lately. They have been negative toward each other, unkind and sometimes very harsh towards each other. A funny thing happened recently. One of them when out of their way for the other one and did something very nice, kind and thoughtful. The suprise took thought and effort, but they did it anyway. The interesting thing is, when I last talked to them, not one unkind word came out of either's mouth, what a pleasant suprise for some thought and effort.
If you and your spouse are having hard times, go out of your way for them. Think of something they need, love, or enjoy doing and go out of your way and make sure it happens. The effort will be well worth it because you took the time out of your daily schedule to do something for them, that is showing them that you truly care. Give your marriage a chance, do something good today and go our of the way for them.
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Are you a Physical Touch Love Language Person?
If you still are not sure if your love language is Physical Touch, ask yourself these questions:
-Do you love your spouse's hugs or would you rather have a love note?
-Do you like it when your spouse is affectionate and touches you or would you rather have your spouse help you out with the household chores?
-Do you love it when your spouse puts their arm around you or would you rather have them surprise you with a gift?
-Do you love to hold your spouse's hand or do you enjoy it when they give you a gift?
-Do you like your spouse to sit close to you or would you rather have them compliment you?
-Do you love to hug your spouse, or do you like it when they help you with the little things?
-Do you love it when your spouse rubs your back or do you like it when they show interest in the things you do?
-Do you love touching your spouse when they are close by or do you like it when they run an errand for you?
If your love language is Physical Touch, then you will have chosen the first statement each time. Physical Touch is a beautiful love language as each one is. The only way you can become good at them is through effort and practice. Remember your marriage is worth it. So take time to learn their love language, then put in the effort to follow through with their love language, it will bring both of you great happiness and joy in your marriage.
-Do you love your spouse's hugs or would you rather have a love note?
-Do you like it when your spouse is affectionate and touches you or would you rather have your spouse help you out with the household chores?
-Do you love it when your spouse puts their arm around you or would you rather have them surprise you with a gift?
-Do you love to hold your spouse's hand or do you enjoy it when they give you a gift?
-Do you like your spouse to sit close to you or would you rather have them compliment you?
-Do you love to hug your spouse, or do you like it when they help you with the little things?
-Do you love it when your spouse rubs your back or do you like it when they show interest in the things you do?
-Do you love touching your spouse when they are close by or do you like it when they run an errand for you?
If your love language is Physical Touch, then you will have chosen the first statement each time. Physical Touch is a beautiful love language as each one is. The only way you can become good at them is through effort and practice. Remember your marriage is worth it. So take time to learn their love language, then put in the effort to follow through with their love language, it will bring both of you great happiness and joy in your marriage.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
How To: Physical Touch
If your spouses love language is Physical Touch here are some suggestions:
-As you walk around places, hold your spouses hand, ie the grocery store, the mall, the hardware store, etc.
-Go up to your spouse and give them a long sincere hug, let them know you love them, resist the temptation to head to the bedroom, they need to know you can give physical touch without it always leading to the bedroom.
-When your spouse is relaxing, go up to them and give them a shoulder massage to help relieve tension.
-Hold your spouses hand during prayer.
-Initiate sex by first giving your spouse a foot rub or back massage, then move to other areas as long as it brings pleasure to your spouse.
-Take a bath together.
-When taking a drive together (just the two of you) reach over and rub their leg, stomach, arm, be extra affectionate, but be aware that they are still driving so you don't want to distracte them too much.
-When family or friends are over touch your spouse in their presence, give them a hug, hold their hand. This allows your spouse to realize that affection is not in private, there is appropriate public affection. It is good for your children to see this as an example of how an affectionate relationship is.
-When your spouse arrives home meet them with a hug or a kiss or both. Let them know they are the most important thing to you. If you generally meet them at the door anyways, meet them in the driveway, go a step further if you can.
-When you have a quick minute, take your spouse into a quiet place, the bedroom, the closet, etc and give them a passionate kiss. This shows them that affection does not always lead to the bedroom, but this can definitly get the fires started for later.
-When your spouse is cooking, or standing there, go up behind them and put your arms around them and tell them you think they are amazing.
-Go to a beautiful look out in town at night time and make out, just like the good old days before you were married.
These are just a few suggestions, trial and error works best with this, just think of ways to show them you love them through physical touch.
-As you walk around places, hold your spouses hand, ie the grocery store, the mall, the hardware store, etc.
-Go up to your spouse and give them a long sincere hug, let them know you love them, resist the temptation to head to the bedroom, they need to know you can give physical touch without it always leading to the bedroom.
-When your spouse is relaxing, go up to them and give them a shoulder massage to help relieve tension.
-Hold your spouses hand during prayer.
-Initiate sex by first giving your spouse a foot rub or back massage, then move to other areas as long as it brings pleasure to your spouse.
-Take a bath together.
-When taking a drive together (just the two of you) reach over and rub their leg, stomach, arm, be extra affectionate, but be aware that they are still driving so you don't want to distracte them too much.
-When family or friends are over touch your spouse in their presence, give them a hug, hold their hand. This allows your spouse to realize that affection is not in private, there is appropriate public affection. It is good for your children to see this as an example of how an affectionate relationship is.
-When your spouse arrives home meet them with a hug or a kiss or both. Let them know they are the most important thing to you. If you generally meet them at the door anyways, meet them in the driveway, go a step further if you can.
-When you have a quick minute, take your spouse into a quiet place, the bedroom, the closet, etc and give them a passionate kiss. This shows them that affection does not always lead to the bedroom, but this can definitly get the fires started for later.
-When your spouse is cooking, or standing there, go up behind them and put your arms around them and tell them you think they are amazing.
-Go to a beautiful look out in town at night time and make out, just like the good old days before you were married.
These are just a few suggestions, trial and error works best with this, just think of ways to show them you love them through physical touch.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Last Love Language-Physical Touch
I apologize that I am so back and forth on my blog, I hope to pick it up to one time a week.
The last Love Language is Physical Touch, this does not mean sex only. Sex is a very important part of the love language but it also could mean: kisses, hugs, embraces, back rubs, foot rubs, brushing her hair, holding hands, touch of the shoulder when you pass by etc. The Physical Touch love language is giving physical touch. It is important to communicate what you do like and don't. Maybe one spouse whos love language is Physical Touch loves it when they are given back rubs, but another spouse's whos love language is physical touch may not like back rubs, but loves to snuggle with their spouse. The great thing is... it is touch, ALL marriages need some kind of touch, so as you touch your spouse you learn, and if they don't like it, do something else.
Please remember that sex is very important if this is a primary love language. If you have a hard time with it, you need to talk to your spouse and work out ways for sex to be a positive and enjoyable experience for both, and not just to do it because this is your spouse's primary love language. Sex is meant to be enjoyed, trust me if you openly communicate it can be enjoyable for both. Maybe every once in a while you agree to have sex because your spouse wants it, but generally once you get started you both end up enjoying it. Physical Touch is great, the more you touch, the more you learn and love.
The last Love Language is Physical Touch, this does not mean sex only. Sex is a very important part of the love language but it also could mean: kisses, hugs, embraces, back rubs, foot rubs, brushing her hair, holding hands, touch of the shoulder when you pass by etc. The Physical Touch love language is giving physical touch. It is important to communicate what you do like and don't. Maybe one spouse whos love language is Physical Touch loves it when they are given back rubs, but another spouse's whos love language is physical touch may not like back rubs, but loves to snuggle with their spouse. The great thing is... it is touch, ALL marriages need some kind of touch, so as you touch your spouse you learn, and if they don't like it, do something else.
Please remember that sex is very important if this is a primary love language. If you have a hard time with it, you need to talk to your spouse and work out ways for sex to be a positive and enjoyable experience for both, and not just to do it because this is your spouse's primary love language. Sex is meant to be enjoyed, trust me if you openly communicate it can be enjoyable for both. Maybe every once in a while you agree to have sex because your spouse wants it, but generally once you get started you both end up enjoying it. Physical Touch is great, the more you touch, the more you learn and love.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
The Dr.'s Advice on TV about Pornography
I just had to post this here because what I saw on The Dr.'s last week infuriated me. I don't watch tv very often, but I was at the gym and had time to kill, so I started watching. They were talking about intimacy and how men are with it, so I was curious. I couldn't believe it when a woman caller asked them if it was okay for her boyfriend to have a thousand pictures of nude women on his laptop. They all agreed and told her it was perfectly okay for him to look at pornography because it gets him ready for her. They said the only time it is a problem is when they are spending the family fortune to maintain the habit.
First of all, how is having a thousand pictures of nude woman not a problem. That is downloading one picture a day for three years, that's a problem. Second, you bring any therapist on that show and they will tell you the damage pornography does in a realtionship. Bring couples on who have had problems with pornography and they will tell you the damage. Bring doctors on that will show you a brain scan of someone into pornography and how it shows them desensitized and made them more and more emotionless. All I can say is pornography is not acceptable in a relationship, it hinders and does great damage to it. Do not allow the ways of the world to tell you it is ok, it is not. If you or your spouse are having problems with it, seek professional help, put your initmacy back on track and back on being just between you and your spouse, not you, your spouse, and your computer, because that after all is an affair.
First of all, how is having a thousand pictures of nude woman not a problem. That is downloading one picture a day for three years, that's a problem. Second, you bring any therapist on that show and they will tell you the damage pornography does in a realtionship. Bring couples on who have had problems with pornography and they will tell you the damage. Bring doctors on that will show you a brain scan of someone into pornography and how it shows them desensitized and made them more and more emotionless. All I can say is pornography is not acceptable in a relationship, it hinders and does great damage to it. Do not allow the ways of the world to tell you it is ok, it is not. If you or your spouse are having problems with it, seek professional help, put your initmacy back on track and back on being just between you and your spouse, not you, your spouse, and your computer, because that after all is an affair.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Are you an Acts of Service Person?
If you are not sure whether or not your love language is Acts of Service, ask your self these questions:
-Do you love it when your spouse does laundry?
-Do you love it when your spouse cooks for you?
-Do you love the little things your spouse does for you?
-Does it mean a lot to you when your spouse helps you with something you know they do not like to do?
-Do you like it when you can count on your spouse to help you with projects?
-Do you appreciate when your spouse runs errands for you?
-Does it mean a lot to you when your spouse helps around the house?
-Does it mean a lot to you when your spouse helps you even though they have other things to do?
Ask yourself these questions and if you answer "yes" to most of them you could be an Acts of Service Love Language person.
-Do you love it when your spouse does laundry?
-Do you love it when your spouse cooks for you?
-Do you love the little things your spouse does for you?
-Does it mean a lot to you when your spouse helps you with something you know they do not like to do?
-Do you like it when you can count on your spouse to help you with projects?
-Do you appreciate when your spouse runs errands for you?
-Does it mean a lot to you when your spouse helps around the house?
-Does it mean a lot to you when your spouse helps you even though they have other things to do?
Ask yourself these questions and if you answer "yes" to most of them you could be an Acts of Service Love Language person.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
How To: Acts of Service
If your spouse is an Acts of Service Love Language person, here are some suggestions:
-Find out what chore your spouse likes doing the least and commit to do that one chore so they don't have to do it
-Make a list of the requests your spouse has asked you to do, write them down, then pick one out per week to work on
-When you do an act of service for your spouse, like cleaning the bathroom, leave a note on the mirror expressing your love for them
-Make notes that state "today I will show my love to you by..." and fill it out, do the service and give to them
-When your spouse is away, do something special for them, paint a bedroom they have always wanted painted, put up new curtains, have the carpets cleaned, etc so when they come home they get an extra special surprise
-Don't view what your spouse asks you to do as a nag, but as a tag. They tagged you and they just need it done, so do it with a willing heart
-Do some big acts of service, like washing the car, cooking a meal, mowing the lawn and leave a sign: To my Honey, Love your (spouse)
-Ask your spouse things you can do daily to help out, the little things mean a lot
Here are some ideas to help you get going if your spouses love language is Acts of Service
-Find out what chore your spouse likes doing the least and commit to do that one chore so they don't have to do it
-Make a list of the requests your spouse has asked you to do, write them down, then pick one out per week to work on
-When you do an act of service for your spouse, like cleaning the bathroom, leave a note on the mirror expressing your love for them
-Make notes that state "today I will show my love to you by..." and fill it out, do the service and give to them
-When your spouse is away, do something special for them, paint a bedroom they have always wanted painted, put up new curtains, have the carpets cleaned, etc so when they come home they get an extra special surprise
-Don't view what your spouse asks you to do as a nag, but as a tag. They tagged you and they just need it done, so do it with a willing heart
-Do some big acts of service, like washing the car, cooking a meal, mowing the lawn and leave a sign: To my Honey, Love your (spouse)
-Ask your spouse things you can do daily to help out, the little things mean a lot
Here are some ideas to help you get going if your spouses love language is Acts of Service
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Love Language Acts of Service
First of all, sorry to all of you who take the time to read this, I have been letting life get away from me and I am sorry. I appreciate all of those who take the time to read this.
Back to the love language Acts of Service. This love language is exactly how it sounds, you do acts of service for the other person. If your spouses love language is acts of service then they will appreicate when you do the dishes, mow the lawn, vaccuum the house, pick up the dry cleaning etc. This is the love language where what you do matters. Many may think that it doesn't really matter if you do the dishes. But if your spouses primary love lanugage is acts of service, it means the world to them. My secondary love language is acts of service and I can tell you that when my husband helps out in the home it means so much to me and helps me to be a happier person. Remember even small acts of service help out, like remembering to take the garbage to the curb, changing the babies diaper, wiping clean the childrens faces, etc. If you are not sure what types of service mean the most to your spouse, ask them. What could it hurt you if it meant a lot to your spouse to make the bed everyday? You would be doing something they really appreciate. By doing your acts of service you help bring joy and love into your marriage. Remember the Savior showed us the great love of service when he washed his disciples feet, he did it out of love for him. If your spouses love language is service, then you find out what services they love to have done and you do it out of love for them. Remember this may take work, you may have to write a list of a service you could do each day of the week, your spouse will appreicate your effort and the more you do it, the easier it becomes.
Back to the love language Acts of Service. This love language is exactly how it sounds, you do acts of service for the other person. If your spouses love language is acts of service then they will appreicate when you do the dishes, mow the lawn, vaccuum the house, pick up the dry cleaning etc. This is the love language where what you do matters. Many may think that it doesn't really matter if you do the dishes. But if your spouses primary love lanugage is acts of service, it means the world to them. My secondary love language is acts of service and I can tell you that when my husband helps out in the home it means so much to me and helps me to be a happier person. Remember even small acts of service help out, like remembering to take the garbage to the curb, changing the babies diaper, wiping clean the childrens faces, etc. If you are not sure what types of service mean the most to your spouse, ask them. What could it hurt you if it meant a lot to your spouse to make the bed everyday? You would be doing something they really appreciate. By doing your acts of service you help bring joy and love into your marriage. Remember the Savior showed us the great love of service when he washed his disciples feet, he did it out of love for him. If your spouses love language is service, then you find out what services they love to have done and you do it out of love for them. Remember this may take work, you may have to write a list of a service you could do each day of the week, your spouse will appreicate your effort and the more you do it, the easier it becomes.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Are you a Receiving Gifts Person
Here are some questions to ask yourself to see if you are a receving gifts person:
-My spouses praise means a lot to me or I like it when he/she give me a gift I really like?
-I can count on my spouse to help out in the home or I love opening a gift from him/her?
-I love it when my spouse hugs me or I like it when he/she surprise me with a gift?
-Spending time with my spouse makes me happy or even the smallest gift from my spouse is important to me?
-I never get tired of my spouse praising me or I look forward to what he/she will give me for my birthday?
-My spouse doesn't interrupt me when I talk or I never tire of receiving gifts from my spouse?
These will give you an idea to determine if your love language is Receiving Gifts. Just remember if you have a spouse who's love language is Receiving Gifts, the thought counts a lot, they want to be thought of as you make a considerate purchase, or as you make them something.
**On a personal note, I am having a hard time keeping this up for the summer, it just seems like things are chaotic, so I will start back up in mid August (once the kids are in school and my schedule is back to semi-normal) with the last two love languages. I appreciate everyone's kind words and encouragment for my blog, this has been one of the hardest things I have done, but when even one person tells me they appreciate it, it makes it worthwhile.
-My spouses praise means a lot to me or I like it when he/she give me a gift I really like?
-I can count on my spouse to help out in the home or I love opening a gift from him/her?
-I love it when my spouse hugs me or I like it when he/she surprise me with a gift?
-Spending time with my spouse makes me happy or even the smallest gift from my spouse is important to me?
-I never get tired of my spouse praising me or I look forward to what he/she will give me for my birthday?
-My spouse doesn't interrupt me when I talk or I never tire of receiving gifts from my spouse?
These will give you an idea to determine if your love language is Receiving Gifts. Just remember if you have a spouse who's love language is Receiving Gifts, the thought counts a lot, they want to be thought of as you make a considerate purchase, or as you make them something.
**On a personal note, I am having a hard time keeping this up for the summer, it just seems like things are chaotic, so I will start back up in mid August (once the kids are in school and my schedule is back to semi-normal) with the last two love languages. I appreciate everyone's kind words and encouragment for my blog, this has been one of the hardest things I have done, but when even one person tells me they appreciate it, it makes it worthwhile.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
How To: Receiving Gifts
Here are some suggestions for you if your spouse's love language is Receiving Gifts:
-Give your spouse a gift in the morning, ie, their favorite candy, send them a gift in the afternoon, ie, balloons or flowers, and bring them a gift home in the evening, ie, a favorite shirt or book
-Give them one gift a day for a week
-When you are out walking around, look around you, do you see a beautiful flower you could bring home for your spouse, or do you see a great walking stick they may enjoy
-Make a handmade gift for your spouse. What if you feel you are not good at making anything? Then take a class on how to make something your spouse would enjoy, they will treasure the gift for a long time because you made it
-Keep a notebook or on your cell phone make a list of gift ideas. Everytime your spouse says "I would like that", write it down, then you will always have ideas of things they like
-If you still don't have ideas what to get your spouse, ask a friend or a family member who knows them well
-Offer the gift of self, tell them you will be there for an event they have that month. Even if it is not something you will enjoy, enjoy it because you are giving them the gift of self and it fills their love tank
-Give them a book and read it yourself so you have something you can discuss together. You can even rotate books on topics of things you are both interested in
-Give to your spouse's favorite charity in honor of them and ask the charity to send a card informing your spouse of what you have done
-Give a living gift, ie, a tree or flowering shrub. Go help your spouse plant it, it will be a gift that last a long time
Just remember when you give the gift, it is the thought that truly counts, because they will look at that gift and rememeber you were thinking of them.
-Give your spouse a gift in the morning, ie, their favorite candy, send them a gift in the afternoon, ie, balloons or flowers, and bring them a gift home in the evening, ie, a favorite shirt or book
-Give them one gift a day for a week
-When you are out walking around, look around you, do you see a beautiful flower you could bring home for your spouse, or do you see a great walking stick they may enjoy
-Make a handmade gift for your spouse. What if you feel you are not good at making anything? Then take a class on how to make something your spouse would enjoy, they will treasure the gift for a long time because you made it
-Keep a notebook or on your cell phone make a list of gift ideas. Everytime your spouse says "I would like that", write it down, then you will always have ideas of things they like
-If you still don't have ideas what to get your spouse, ask a friend or a family member who knows them well
-Offer the gift of self, tell them you will be there for an event they have that month. Even if it is not something you will enjoy, enjoy it because you are giving them the gift of self and it fills their love tank
-Give them a book and read it yourself so you have something you can discuss together. You can even rotate books on topics of things you are both interested in
-Give to your spouse's favorite charity in honor of them and ask the charity to send a card informing your spouse of what you have done
-Give a living gift, ie, a tree or flowering shrub. Go help your spouse plant it, it will be a gift that last a long time
Just remember when you give the gift, it is the thought that truly counts, because they will look at that gift and rememeber you were thinking of them.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Love Language Recieving Gifts
A gift is something you can hold and look at and realize that someone was thinking of you, that is why they gave it to you. A true gift doesn't always have to cost money, but it needs to be something you give because you care and love for that person. Gifts can be a card you make, wildflowers you pick, or something you saw in the store that would be just right for that person. A person who's love language is Receiving Gifts is generally someone who is enthusiastic when gifts are given, they are also someone who remembers the gifts because it was important to them. Also in Receiving Gifts an important part of the love language is the gift of your presence, this is where you are there for the person at times of crisis, or if they just need you there by their side through difficult times.
What if you are a saver and have a hard time spending money? If your spouses true love language is Receiving Gifts you need to realize your investment is in your marriage. If that is how they get their love tank full, then you do need to spend some money and get them things that are thoughtful; or if things are tight, be creative, you can give gifts without spending money.
Remember in all this that your marriage is the most important thing, so it is worth the financial and time investment.
What if you are a saver and have a hard time spending money? If your spouses true love language is Receiving Gifts you need to realize your investment is in your marriage. If that is how they get their love tank full, then you do need to spend some money and get them things that are thoughtful; or if things are tight, be creative, you can give gifts without spending money.
Remember in all this that your marriage is the most important thing, so it is worth the financial and time investment.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Summer is Crazy
I am so sorry I have been very inconsistant lately, summer is taking me more for a loop than I realized it would. I will get back to the last three love languages starting July 11. I am sorry again for being so inconsistant.
Friday, June 24, 2011
Are You A Quality Time Person?
Here are questions to figure out if one of you are a Quality Time person:
-Do you like to be alone with your spouse, or do you like it when your spouse cleans your car?
-Do you like taking trips with your spouse, or do you enjoy receiving a gift from them?
-Do you being with your spouse no matter what they are doing, or do you like it when they give you a compliment?
-Do you like hanging out with your spouse, or do you like it when they give you a massage?
-Do you like it when your spouse supports you or do you like it when they kiss you?
-Do you like it when your spouse listens and talks to you or do you like it when they tell you you look good?
-Do you like having your spouse's undivideded attention or do you like it when they help you clean the house?
These are a few questions you can ask each other to get a feel of what love language you are. Also keeping a list of things you do that make your spouse happy helps you determine the love language, because there would generally be a pattern of your spouse liking compliments, or spending time with you, etc.
-Do you like to be alone with your spouse, or do you like it when your spouse cleans your car?
-Do you like taking trips with your spouse, or do you enjoy receiving a gift from them?
-Do you being with your spouse no matter what they are doing, or do you like it when they give you a compliment?
-Do you like hanging out with your spouse, or do you like it when they give you a massage?
-Do you like it when your spouse supports you or do you like it when they kiss you?
-Do you like it when your spouse listens and talks to you or do you like it when they tell you you look good?
-Do you like having your spouse's undivideded attention or do you like it when they help you clean the house?
These are a few questions you can ask each other to get a feel of what love language you are. Also keeping a list of things you do that make your spouse happy helps you determine the love language, because there would generally be a pattern of your spouse liking compliments, or spending time with you, etc.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Happy Belated Fathers Day
I know I am behind for Fathers Day, but I realize it would be unjust of me if I do not pay tribute to the greatest two men I know, my husband and my father.
First, Happy Fathers Day to my husband who makes this life worth everything. He is a man that brings me constant joy and happiness. He is a man that is patient, kind and loving to me. He is a man that helps me see my potential and belives in me and all I can achieve. He is a man who truly belives I am beautiful and never stops telling me. He is a man, that when my moody days come, which have been frequent lately, he bears it all with patience and love and tries to help me get through it. He is a man of faith, who follows God and serves him diligently. He is a man that won my heart 18 years ago and I am grateful for it everyday. He is the man that gave me four beautiful and amazing children who are the joy of my life. I love you dearly Jason, thank you for all you are to me and for loving me always.
Second, to my Dad, Happy Fathers Day, he is a man that sets the example always. He worked diligently to always provide for our family. He would get us kids up in the morning, get us ready for school, make a homemade breakfast from scratch, send us off to school, go to work, then come home and help us with homework or dinner, or both and then he would help get us ready for bed. He would do stuff around the house constantly and when he asked us to help him, you knew that he would be working too. He is a man that has beared patiently and lovingly the trial of a wife who has been sick for 34 years. He shows us the example of love by helping my mom, being patient with her, serving her and loving her. He was always there to support us and he supports his grandkids whenever he can. My Dad is my hero, he is my example, he is a man who has brought me great joy in life for the unconditional love he has always given me and for his example of faith and love to our Heavenly Father. Thank you Dad for all you have done, I love you.
First, Happy Fathers Day to my husband who makes this life worth everything. He is a man that brings me constant joy and happiness. He is a man that is patient, kind and loving to me. He is a man that helps me see my potential and belives in me and all I can achieve. He is a man who truly belives I am beautiful and never stops telling me. He is a man, that when my moody days come, which have been frequent lately, he bears it all with patience and love and tries to help me get through it. He is a man of faith, who follows God and serves him diligently. He is a man that won my heart 18 years ago and I am grateful for it everyday. He is the man that gave me four beautiful and amazing children who are the joy of my life. I love you dearly Jason, thank you for all you are to me and for loving me always.
Second, to my Dad, Happy Fathers Day, he is a man that sets the example always. He worked diligently to always provide for our family. He would get us kids up in the morning, get us ready for school, make a homemade breakfast from scratch, send us off to school, go to work, then come home and help us with homework or dinner, or both and then he would help get us ready for bed. He would do stuff around the house constantly and when he asked us to help him, you knew that he would be working too. He is a man that has beared patiently and lovingly the trial of a wife who has been sick for 34 years. He shows us the example of love by helping my mom, being patient with her, serving her and loving her. He was always there to support us and he supports his grandkids whenever he can. My Dad is my hero, he is my example, he is a man who has brought me great joy in life for the unconditional love he has always given me and for his example of faith and love to our Heavenly Father. Thank you Dad for all you have done, I love you.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
How to Quality Time
So if you or your spouse are a Quality Time person, here are some suggestions:
-Sit down and talk to your spouse each night, that means tv off, and talk about your day, desires, hopes, etc
-Take a vacation with your spouse, just you and them enjoying one on one time
-When you go out to dinner, pick a place that has a nice atmosphere, a place that isn't so noisy so you can talk to each other
-Take a walk down memory lane and go to where your spouse grew up and find out about their childhood
-Go bike riding together, or running together, or swimming together
-Sit and watch your spouses favorite sport or tv show with them, even though it may not be your favorite thing to watch, it's about doing things together; you both give a little
-If you can't take a vacation together, get away for a weekend
-Grab your laptop and watch a movie on the trampoline with some popcorn
-Just get out and enjoy some one on one time
-Sit down and talk to your spouse each night, that means tv off, and talk about your day, desires, hopes, etc
-Take a vacation with your spouse, just you and them enjoying one on one time
-When you go out to dinner, pick a place that has a nice atmosphere, a place that isn't so noisy so you can talk to each other
-Take a walk down memory lane and go to where your spouse grew up and find out about their childhood
-Go bike riding together, or running together, or swimming together
-Sit and watch your spouses favorite sport or tv show with them, even though it may not be your favorite thing to watch, it's about doing things together; you both give a little
-If you can't take a vacation together, get away for a weekend
-Grab your laptop and watch a movie on the trampoline with some popcorn
-Just get out and enjoy some one on one time
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Quality Time
The love language Quality Time is all about being together. But it goes further than that, it is about being together and giving each other your undivided attention. It is not about taking your wife out to dinner and then spending all your time on your cell phone. It is not about sitting down to have a conversation with her while the tv is on, which will constantly distract your attention. It is about choosing to do things together that one of you love to do, or both of you love to do. It is about taking time for each other to have quality conversations, really focusing on each other and how you are doing.
If you or your spouse are a Quality Time love language person, it is a person who loves to be with their spouse. Even if it is going grocery shopping because they know they can get some one on one time with you. If you or your spouse are a Quality Time love language, this a person who loves to have your undivided attention, who loves to sit and talk to you without any distractions, who loves to hang out with you wherever it is because you are giving them your time and attention.
One of the important aspects of Quality Time is quality conversation, this is where you really talk to your spouse. You don't just let them do all the talking. The two of you share your hopes, thoughts, dreams, aspirations, disappontments, etc. If you are not a talker and your spouse is a Quality Time person, you need to develop ways in which you can share your thoughts more readily with your spouse. If your spouse is a Quality Time person, it means a lot to them to have you learn to engage in quality conversation, this helps them to feel very loved by you because you are taking the time to let them know how you really feel and what you think even if it is hard for you to say.
If you feel you don't have the time to take them out or to sit down and talk with them, MAKE THE TIME. Your marriage and your spouse is the most important thing to make the time for.
If you or your spouse are a Quality Time love language person, it is a person who loves to be with their spouse. Even if it is going grocery shopping because they know they can get some one on one time with you. If you or your spouse are a Quality Time love language, this a person who loves to have your undivided attention, who loves to sit and talk to you without any distractions, who loves to hang out with you wherever it is because you are giving them your time and attention.
One of the important aspects of Quality Time is quality conversation, this is where you really talk to your spouse. You don't just let them do all the talking. The two of you share your hopes, thoughts, dreams, aspirations, disappontments, etc. If you are not a talker and your spouse is a Quality Time person, you need to develop ways in which you can share your thoughts more readily with your spouse. If your spouse is a Quality Time person, it means a lot to them to have you learn to engage in quality conversation, this helps them to feel very loved by you because you are taking the time to let them know how you really feel and what you think even if it is hard for you to say.
If you feel you don't have the time to take them out or to sit down and talk with them, MAKE THE TIME. Your marriage and your spouse is the most important thing to make the time for.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Are You a Words of Affirmation Person?
With the advice given on Words of Affirmation, how do you know if you or your spouse is a person that thrives off of kind words, cards, poems, etc.? You need to evaluate your spouse and yourself. Ask yourself and your spouse these questions:
-Do you like it when your spouse tell you you look good, or would you rather snuggle with them?
-Do you love it when your spouse leaves a love note, or would you rather a sweet gift from them?
-Do supportive comments from your spouse make you feel good, or would you rather hang out with them no matter what they are doing?
-Do you thrive off of your spouses compliments of you, or would you rather have them help out with a chore you do not like doing?
Do you like it when your spouse is appreciative of you, or would you rather sit and listen to your spouse as they tell you of their accomplishments and dreams?
When your spouse does something for you that makes you feel great, think about it, is it from a compliment, a hug, a gift, spending time with you, or with them helping you out? Start writing down the things your spouse does that makes you happy, it will help you to understand your love language. If you are stuck on your spouses love language, sit and talk to them and see if the two of you can figue it out by going over the love languages as I give them out over the next little while.
-Do you like it when your spouse tell you you look good, or would you rather snuggle with them?
-Do you love it when your spouse leaves a love note, or would you rather a sweet gift from them?
-Do supportive comments from your spouse make you feel good, or would you rather hang out with them no matter what they are doing?
-Do you thrive off of your spouses compliments of you, or would you rather have them help out with a chore you do not like doing?
Do you like it when your spouse is appreciative of you, or would you rather sit and listen to your spouse as they tell you of their accomplishments and dreams?
When your spouse does something for you that makes you feel great, think about it, is it from a compliment, a hug, a gift, spending time with you, or with them helping you out? Start writing down the things your spouse does that makes you happy, it will help you to understand your love language. If you are stuck on your spouses love language, sit and talk to them and see if the two of you can figue it out by going over the love languages as I give them out over the next little while.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Internet Looks Ready To Go
After two technicians over, several phone calls and a new router, I believe I should be back in business tomorrow. So look for tomorrow's blog on ways you can tell if your spouses love language is Words of Affirmation.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
How To: Words of Affirmation
Here are some things you can do and say to help you begin the love language of Words of Affirmation:
-Keep a written record for a week of all of the kind things you say to your spouse, this helps you to realize if you are just repeating the same thing over and over, or if you are truly looking for the things you appreciate about them
-Give your spouse at least one compliment each day
-Write a poem, love letter, or a story telling your spouse how much you love them and how great they are
-If you are having trouble being a sincere person, watch people you know with great realtionships, see and hear how they interact with their spouse, this will help you to understand how to be sincere and give you ideas on what to look for and say sincerely
-Compliment your spouse in front of friends and family. Your spouse should always know when they are with you that your will uplift them and not put them down.
-Tell your children, with the spouse there, how much you appreciate your spouse. It is so good for children to hear a loving kind relationship with their parents
-Does your spouse have a dream of something they would like to do? Well, encourage them if they do, help them see in themselves what you see in them
-You could put a love note on a mirror or window with dry erase markers, you could leave little heart papers in their car of all the things you love about them, you could buy a sugar cookie and write on it what you love about them, you could make a candy bar poster of all their great attributes, you could write on a towel or apron or t-shirt of things you love about them. There are many other things you can do to give them encouragement
-If you really have a hard time speaking kind words, then practice, practice, practice. The more you say it the more easier it will get and if this is difficult, write it down and give it to them
-Keep a written record for a week of all of the kind things you say to your spouse, this helps you to realize if you are just repeating the same thing over and over, or if you are truly looking for the things you appreciate about them
-Give your spouse at least one compliment each day
-Write a poem, love letter, or a story telling your spouse how much you love them and how great they are
-If you are having trouble being a sincere person, watch people you know with great realtionships, see and hear how they interact with their spouse, this will help you to understand how to be sincere and give you ideas on what to look for and say sincerely
-Compliment your spouse in front of friends and family. Your spouse should always know when they are with you that your will uplift them and not put them down.
-Tell your children, with the spouse there, how much you appreciate your spouse. It is so good for children to hear a loving kind relationship with their parents
-Does your spouse have a dream of something they would like to do? Well, encourage them if they do, help them see in themselves what you see in them
-You could put a love note on a mirror or window with dry erase markers, you could leave little heart papers in their car of all the things you love about them, you could buy a sugar cookie and write on it what you love about them, you could make a candy bar poster of all their great attributes, you could write on a towel or apron or t-shirt of things you love about them. There are many other things you can do to give them encouragement
-If you really have a hard time speaking kind words, then practice, practice, practice. The more you say it the more easier it will get and if this is difficult, write it down and give it to them
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